- It’s such an odd thing to say when really, we’ve been home for four months. But it feels as though it should be officially announced here. I think partially I just want to remember it a little bit.
The details are all getting a bit hazy for me except the day we moved. I look back and remember almost nothing except a blur of crying baby and rocking, rocking, rocking in between walking, walking, walking from July on. I have no idea how things got packed. I know that my mom came up a day or two about a month before we moved. I know that Amanda came and held Bella for me a lot. I know that three sweet friends from Hagerstown came the Tuesday before we moved and packed up my entire kitchen while I finished packing our closets. I know that we were planning to move on Thursday, October 20. I remember sorting and purging. I distinctly remember the funny feeling of knowing exactly where most things would go and so I would fill a box, sometimes from different rooms, and label which room it should go to. But I hardly remember actually filling boxes. That’s an odd thing considering there were about two hundred boxes. And mostly I know that we were completely covered in prayer.
I’d way rather remember holding Bella anyway, so thank goodness that’s not the brain cells that fudged.
Wednesday morning David left a few minutes before 5 to take an open trailer with lawn and garden supplies and outdoor items to Virginia. He dropped it off, drove back to Harrisonburg, picked up a box trailer and headed back to Maryland. I’d asked Grandma Donna to come help me that day because frankly, I just needed a mom. She was the perfect person! She helped me scrub a few last minutes places, read stories to Zara, rocked Bella, and ran to the bulk food store with the kids in tow to pick up a sub order for our lunch. It was a calm morning and I was feeling oddly as though I was getting done early. I called David and said, “hey, what do you think? If we get done early would you want to just drive down tonight?” We talked about it for a bit and figured it we somehow miraculously got loaded by six we’d do it. But not later than that because of his early morning and life with babies is kind of exhausting without losing half a night of sleep because of driving.
He got home around 3 and the loading began. It was unbelievably hot for the end of October! The guys were sweating up a storm. Miss Sheryl showed up with an igloo of iced tea. We were wearing flip flops or running barefoot. There were people everywhere. Loading boxes. Holding babies. Helping me wash off walls as the rooms got emptied….
About seven or eight David said, “I’m driving down tonight.” The trailer was so loaded he didn’t want to deal with daytime traffic, especially on the 81. Let me tell you, stuff kicked in high gear. We weren’t even completely loaded. I hadn’t packed up the frig stuff because we supposedly weren’t leaving until morning. My carefully packed for overnight suitcases got stuffed into the trailer, people started helping me clean out my neglected frig, and other people collected stuff from the shower because suddenly hitting the road took preeminence over cleaning up our stinky bodies.
People helped bathe the girls and I sent all the kombucha and coke from the frig to our vehicles. Nice combination, don’t you think?
At nine, the people who stuck with us until the very end, circled up in the yard and prayed for our safety. I felt a little shaky inside. I was exhausted and my adrenalin rush wasn’t present but not quite as big as David’s. His was pretty contagious though! I don’t mind driving, but I’m a terrible night driver because I get so sleepy. I was a little worried about how the girls would travel, especially Bella, and I was definitely worried about the loaded trailer. And then, we were off. Adam opted to travel with me and cranked up Adventures in Odyssey which was a great sleep deterrent.
We hit heavy traffic that slowed but didn’t stop us on the 81 and then passed through torrential rain for about ten minutes on the 66. And after that, it was smooth sailing.
I can’t even describe what it felt like to pull into our driveway a little before one or to wake up the next morning knowing we didn’t have to tackle the drive. It’s been the most amazing thing, this coming home. I’ve never moved back into a house before and I know it helped so much with us feeling at home right away. The house and yard took a beating because of us not being here to maintain it for so long. It was terribly disappointing to leave a house that looked like new and come home to a house that needed so, so much care and repair, but it was home. I had the strangest feeling the next day as they unloaded furniture and set it up in the living room …. like, did those four and a half years really happen or didn’t they?!
We have loved being back. And apparently, Bella loved Virginia, too. For whatever reason, less stress for Mommy??? possible mold in the house in Maryland??? she drew a line in the sand the day we moved. Every day for a week she became less and less fussy. By Monday she was lying down taking naps and sleeping 10-11 hours at night. When she was awake, she played happily. She literally turned into a dream baby!
Moving back hasn’t been without it’s adjustments. That’s always and always a part of change. But over and again we’ve felt confirmation that this is what God wanted for us. I feel so grateful for the opportunity to once again be surrounded by so many things that make me feel happy. Friends. Family. Church. Beauty. Connection. Resources. And so much more. I am not soaking in the blessings, but not without pause. How can I enjoy fully, yet not selfishly? I want to embrace this beautiful gift God has given while still living with intention, generosity, and especially with this level of gratitude. Because the truth is, this is a gift from Him! Not something I deserve or for more to demand. I never dreamed I’d feel guilty for having such a nice life.
“You desire truth in my heart, and in its secret places you will give me wisdom. Make me to hear joy and gladness! Create in me a clean heart and a steady spirit. Restore the joy of salvation and hold me with your generous spirit.” Psalm 51 paraphrase mine.