April Funnies

Mom was making garnachies at our house and Adam watched her shake salt into the beans without measuring.  “You’re a professional.  You just season to taste.”

Liam while doing his schoolwork: “This one is unconscious.  My ‘e’s’ don’t usually look like that.”

I made these outrageously good granola bars.  Shockingly, they’re also outrageously healthy.  Adam tasted one and said, “Did you put nicotine in these?”  I must not be the only one who thinks they’re addictive.

The boys were supposed to bring a wheelbarrow load of wood into the basement for the wood furnace.  The wood was under a tarp and, without thinking about the consequences, Adam would throw the wood to the edge and Liam would take it to the wheelbarrow.  The inevitable happened.  Liam got hit.  Adam brought him to the door.  I could hear his wailing the entire time they traipsed through the yard.  When Adam finished telling me the story I looked at Liam and the enormous crocodile tears and the tell-tale mouth hanging open (usually means I’m not really hurt badly but I am in desperate need of attention so I’ll milk this for all it’s worth).

Me: “Adam, did you apologize?”

Adam: “Yes.”

Me: “Liam, did you say, I forgive you?”

Liam: “No, I was too busy crying.”

And just like that it was all over and they tromped back to the woodpile a little wiser.

 {first tick bite of the season . they didn’t even wait until it got warm}

Liam was setting the table when Mom was here.  “Hey, Grammie, I ‘setted’ you between my mom and dad.”  We grinned at each other and turned to look.  He wasn’t kidding.  The table that normally seats four had five plates on it.  Four in their normal positions and the fifth plate squeezed tightly between where David and I sit.  🙂

Mom bought shrimp for our supper one night while she was here.  This is a huge, huge treat for our family and they get carefully divided so everyone gets the same amount.  We were all enjoying them when Adam randomly announced, “Good thing these are invertebrates.”

Another day while we were studying health I was reading over the jokes they had interspersed.  Adam listened obligingly then said, “These just don’t hit my funny bone.”

Liam’s newest vocabulary word is fair.  As in, “she slept a fair amount,” or, “There is a fair amount of paint left.”

Adam has been steadily making up jokes.  His most famous ones are what he calls the toothpaste jokes.

Q: What’s a hunter’s favorite kind of toothpaste? A: Aim

Q: What’s a surfer’s favorite kind of toothpaste? A: Crest

Q: What’s a carpenter’s favorite kind of toothpaste? A: Arm and Hammer

Q: What’s a farmer’s least favorite kind of toothpaste? A: “Cold Gate”

At dinner one night Adam said if someone would tell him he could have one wish he would wish for all the wishes in the world because then he could wish for whatever he wants and he’d get it.  David  responded with the obligatory parental coaching.  “Well, you know you still wouldn’t be happy even if you got everything in the world you can wish for…..” Adam interrupted him.  “Well, then I’d just wish for happiness.”

The boys do so well with Zara and she loves them to bits.  Some days I still crack up at how differently they respond to her than a typical girl would.  One day I had Adam take care of her for a bit while I was doing something else.  I walked back out to the living room to see him holding her horizontally out in front of him while he slowly made circles and “chop chop chop” noises.  Welcome to the world of helicopters and trucks, little girl.

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