Chesed

Learning to ride bike is one of my most vivid childhood memories.  I was five when Mom and Dad first bought me a bike and I had a chance to try two wheels instead of three.  It was a blue and yellow Huffy boys bike and it was almost too big for me.  No training wheels either. 

Dad took me outside on our sandy lane and we tried going in and out with me dropping vertically more often then moving horizontally.  Falling hurt.  I was not exactly a mild child and I lost patience with the process quickly.  One more fall was one fall too many.  I hurled my bike to the ground as hard as I could.  “I will never ride this bike again,” I roared and stomped off towards the house.  As soon as the words were out of my mouth I distinctly remember expecting to hear the typical, “Michelle, ‘net su shveitzu’ (don’t talk like that).”  Instead, Dad didn’t say a word.  Just calmly picked up the bike and parked it while I went inside and told Mom, “I hate my bike.”

I don’t remember how long it took me to learn.  Eventually I was riding solo although the bike was still too big.  I had to stand on a five gallon bucket to the left of the bike and make sure the right pedal was up to get started before I could make a loop of the yard and back in the lane. 

Adam has been riding fairly well with his training wheels.  His cousin, Rochelle, learned how to ride without the training wheels on a teeny tiny bike she calls “my very tippy bike” and after she learned, she offered that Adam could borrow it.  I was amazed how quickly he caught on.  Tuesday night we went to the park to give him a bigger area to ride then the basement afforded since our yard is all one big slope.  He was thrilled and basically learned to ride twenty feet or so just in that one evening. 

The next day my mom surprised us and showed up to help me sew for a day (am I a lucky girl or what?) and over lunch time she took Adam outside and practiced in the little bit of flat area we have right behind the house.  In less then fifteen minutes, Adam was travelling the length of the house (44 feet).  How we exclaimed and praised his progress.  He fell some and once he stormed to mom, “My bike hates me.” 

That night we were reading his Bible story and having prayer together at bedtime.  When it was Adam’s turn he started in with the usual, “Dear God, please help us feel better in the morning” (I do wonder sometimes how long I will have to not be pregnant until he skips this phrase).  “And thank you that I could ride my bike further then the length of the house on a sunny day….”

I win a very fat “worst mommy of the week” award.  Liam has been terribly grumpy the last two days, barely taking 20 minute naps, complaining about life most of his awake time and almost refusing to nurse.  I thought he was bored.  I thought he wanted to become a snacker.  And then when I sighed one more time, Christy suggested maybe he’s teething and I should try a dose of Tylenol just to see if it helps.  His gums don’t look swollen to me; but hey, that’s what my pediatrician suggests every time I ask how to know if the boys are really sick or not.  So I gave him a dose of Tylenol and he turned into a different child.  He still didn’t sleep.  But he ate and ate and ate and ate and finally I realized he must have the sore throat I’ve been battling for days.  When he giggled I realized just how long it had been since I’d heard him happy.  I feel absolutely terrible.  There he was, hurting and hungry, and I thought he was grumpy.  I suspect he’s had it for awhile but as my throat got better and turned into more of a bad head cold, I stopped taking motrin and that’s when he started getting so much fussier.  And then before he went to bed last night he started with a whopper cold.  Instead of sleeping ten hours last night, I’m not sure he slept one unattended inspite of having the head of his bed elevated and a vaporizer beside him.  But don’t pity me.  I was up four times or so.  The huge, enormous, red ribboned medals go straight to his daddy who rocked him, held him upright, and comforted him.  Our family would fall apart very quickly without that wonderful man.

I think I will forever associate the energizer bunny ads and this night together.  I’m pretty sure common sense would have said hang up the idea of pictures for tonight and try again some other time.  But both Durlins and I had a relatively incompatible schedule the month of September and they wanted pictures before getting a haircut for Demetrius. 

Demetrius was in one of those, “Hand over the chocolate playground and no one gets hurt” kind of moods that toddlers get.  “Oh, and while you’re at it I want the gum and the bubbles, too.  You could not have once counted three seconds…”one thousand ONE one thousand TWO one thou..” and expected him to still be at the same place and / or looking the same direction.  Only I wasn’t counting.  I was way too busy trying to predict the next move.  I think, that someday when he is almost grown up, he is going to get a side job organizing fun puppet shows like the one Adam, Rochelle and I enjoyed at the library today.  He’s got all the quick moves for it down pat already!  And then when he’s even more grownup, he’s going to go big places.  I don’t think the great leaders and entrepreneurs of today were docile, sit-still children yesterday.

I love his look of wild delight.  He had a blast racing around the pillars and chasing his daddy.

This may be my husband’s blood family; but it is also some of my best friends.  We sisters-in-law sat around the table this morning eating scones, praying for our husbands and each other, and laughing until we cried and our stomachs ached.  I love these people!

Tonight I made scones for our supper.  Perfect, wonderful, Irish scones just like Regina taught me.  The best I’ve made yet (which isn’t saying much since I’ve only made a handful in my lifetime).  We even had the real whipped cream beaten up into soft peaks to top them the way they’re supposed to be eaten. 

The only problem was that it wasn’t entirely perfect. 

I couldn’t see the ocean.  I could kind of deal with that. 

We had coffee instead of tea.  A little tougher but I still didn’t need therapy or anything. 

The biggest problem was our lack of strawberry jam. 

My mom makes the greatest jams to sell and so I never make any.  But there is no strawberry jam like freezer strawberry jam (as opposed to canned strawberry jam).  And since I can get all the jam I like at her house, we live in the luxury of black or red raspberry among other varieties.  And we are all live very happy jam lives even without strawberry jam. 

Until tonight. 

Scones need strawberry jam.  So here’s the deal.  If you bring me some strawberry jam, I’ll share my scones with you.  Oh, but give me fair warning so I can go to the grocery store first.  We ate all the cream tonight.

                          Happy Birthday today to my sweet sister-in-law, Kristina. 

God has given her the gift of mercy and compassion and I learn so much about extending that to other people through her.  Not to mention, I get wrapped in that “grace like a big hug” a lot myself.  I love the way she laughs at my jokes (who doesn’t like that), talks things through with me when something feels heavy, and the way she lets people enter her world.  Everyone likes to go to Kristina’s house.  It’s always welcoming there.  I wish I knew how she does that. 

And while she hasn’t posted in forever, I will bet you a grande decaf latte with caramel extra hot please that she’ll check her comments if you leave her birthday wishes. 

                                             Kristina, I’m wishing you a “birth day” really soon.

My two favorite people under four feet tall.  I say that even though Liam is grumping beside me.  He’s kind of cute grumpy.  Well, when he’s just sort of grumpy.  The way he mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmm’s along in this grouchy little way then breaks into all out giggles with a little attention.  The times he actually yells and fusses terribly are so rare I end up feeling sorry for him more then anything.  90% of the time he’s the sweetest baby around. 

I still have nights when I cry just a little at the sheer joy of having a baby.  In my heart, he will always be my miracle child.

I love watching Adam and Liam interact.  The way Liam giggles and follows Adam with his eyes.  The way Adam always wants to know where Liam is and never wants him to sleep.  I think next summer is going to be so much fun.

And then every once in awhile Adam will work very hard to keep Liam happy for me.  And pretty soon he sighs and says, “mommy, I’ve just had enough Liam ‘tention for now.”

I see racing bikes, mud puddles, football, and heavy food consumption in the future.

Jacquelyn Rae

                                                                      isn’t she beautiful?

Congratulations go to Darrel & Joanna, Evan & Elliot

Jonathan and Lavonna are home on furlough from Kenya.  We are just loving having them here again and getting to know their two little boys.  The other day they asked if I would take photos of their family to update their prayer cards.

Joe and Rhoda are such fun in front of the camera.  I did their Christmas pictures last year and couldn’t wait to do them again this year.  They are so comfortable in front of a lens and the girls smile easily.  Rhoda decided to do photos early this year which made it more fun for everyone …warmth and sunshine instead of trying to duck around cold winds and early evenings.

There are more here if you want to see them.  Oh and stay tuned for pictures of Darrel and Jo’s darling baby girl!

Random

That’s kind of what my life feels like right now.  Or at least, that has a nicer ring then something like, “about to fly apart.”  It’s not that anything huge has happened, just a lot of things piled all together until they are completely jumbled in my mind and some days I just say to myself, “breathe in.  breathe out.  breathe in.  breathe out.” as I keep trudging up and down the stairways.  Don’t ask me what I’ve been doing the last two weeks.  I’m not sure I could remember five things unless I sat down and remembered for quite awhile.

                            ***********************************************************

The day the bears hung out at the neighbors was also the day we left for South Carolina for the weekend and the day after the night the company took us out for supper and the day after Ruth came to help me so that I could sew a dress for myself so that maybe, just maybe, I would have something to wear to church that didn’t require a jacket to cover postpartum issues for the first time since Liam was born.  (told you my brain is on overload)  Never mind how old he is now.  Back to that day.  I was still sewing instead of packing or cleaning because I really wanted to finish it.  And about the time I was putting the sewing machine away David Lee called to let me know about the bears.  And so, being the very good mommy that I am, I took the boys to see the bears.  Except only Adam was interested of course.  In retrospect, I don’t think the parenting magazines would put this on the quality time lists after all.  It was hot, which meant I couldn’t risk leaving Liam in the car so I hauled car seat and camera with me and held Adam’s hand with the hand that wasn’t quite free.  We plopped Liam in the shade halfway across the yard and tried to get pictures.  But since the zoom on my otherwise wonderful lens is nearly non-existent, I realized something was going to have to happen if I was going to get any pictures that showed more then a black blob.  Adam and I quietly maneuvered around the fence and out to the road and within 15 feet of the tree the mom was hanging out in.  Two of our neighbors had been there for quite awhile and were obviously not worried about being eaten.  I kept glancing at the distance between the car and us and mentally calculating how long it would take for me to race around the fence and snatch Liam and growing more uncomfortable with each swing of the cub’s paw.  Surely mama bears chase testosterone before estrogen?  Nick said “mom” had been sacked out for over an hour.  Maybe so.  But one mom knows well enough another mom isn’t going to be but so “sacked out” when her baby isn’t.  And then after trying to jump the ditch in my flip flops and seriously twisting my ankle in the process, I hobbled us back to the car and loaded us up.  By the time I’d said good-bye and eased onto the road, mama bear was on the ground.  I sighed happily at us all safely seatbelted, drove home, and looked furtively towards the very tiny woods between our house and Nick’s house before scrambling toward the house.  And now, it’s ten days later and my ankle is still swollen and painful and Adam never mentions that very cool day when his mommy took him to see the bears.  So much for that.

                            ********************************************************************

Liam got his second round of vaccinations Tuesday.  It’s the same four shots he got two months ago.  Thursday he was fussy.  Friday he was more fussy.  Saturday he was much more fussy until I gave him a dose of Tylenol and he slept for three hours (completely unheard of on the best of days).  Today he is still fussy.  How long do vaccinations make a child fussy or is something else going on?  I cannot lay him on his beloved gym mat.  I cannot sit and look at books with him.  I cannot show toys to him.  I can sometimes distract him with a tickle.  But mostly we just walk around the house and around the house and around the house and mostly we just fuss and fuss and fuss.  Except for when he sleeps.  He’s not eating right.  He makes multiple messes a day.  But mostly he is just unhappy.  Poor baby.

                     **************************************************************************

Adam is begging to go to Cafe Europa.  He says he wants their “red soup.” He just “likes it like crazy.”  He says I can’t make it as good as they can.  I think he’s right.  I think I want some, too.

                      *****************************************************************************

David Lee visited Bald Eagle Boys Camp in PA on Friday and Saturday where he spent two years as a “chief”.  He is chairman of the committee recently put in place to explore the possibility of developing a similar camp in Virginia or West Virginia.  I am so excited about this work.  I love camp and the way they give boys a second chance at life.  I love the attributes I see in David Lee because of his time there as counsellor.  They say, “Once a chief, always a chief.”  But I also love Miss Joann who bluntly warned David Lee before we got married, “Don’t ever try to chief your wife.”

One of the boys who was in David Lee’s group recently won in a writing contest with 1,400 entries.  He has dreams of going to college to major in Spanish.  One of the other boys is now a couch potato with no desire to change.  Camp is not a miracle.  It is an opportunity. 

                         *****************************************************************************

I really wish someone would invent a noise-free blender.  Smoothies are not worth waking the house.

This mom decided to hang out at our neighbor’s house for a few hours.

Oh, and her three cubs.