Chesed

 The other day I told Adam that Meredith is coming to help clean our house.  He promptly said we didn’t need her.  He could help and Daddy could make supper.  And truly, he has surprised me with his helpfulness on days when no one is here to help.  He even fixed my tanker of water one morning.  Never mind that it took him as long as it took me to feed Liam.  I was as proud of him as he was of himself.  He dragged a chair to the freezer (and no, I didn’t say anything about the freezer door being open while he went to get the chair), filled it all the way to the top with ice just the way I like it, dragged the chair around the island to the sink, filled it with water, set it on the counter so he could get down, and brought it to me in the living room.  I wonder which of our eyes sparkled more.

Now this morning we had another break-through.  Adam went to his room and made his bad ALL BY HIMSELF. 

Sometimes I’m so good my mommy wonders if I’m real.  I sleep six or seven hours a night.  I eat.  I sleep.  I wet and dirty diapers.  And twice a day or so I have close to a two hour awake period.  Tonight I thought I’d give her a run for her money.  So I waited til she took off my diaper and then I finished my mess.  And just because I thought I’d try having tummy ache all evening.  She says I’m adorable; but she can’t wait to start over with tomorrow.  I wonder what that means.

Daddy, do you know how much I love you?

I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this new normal at our house.  I love, love, LOVE the newborn stage … at least as much (if not more) as I despair with pregnancy.  I love that new baby smell, the little grunts, the puffy little breaths, the way they s-t-r-e-t-c-h and yawn, and roll their eyes, they way they tuck their feet up underneath themselves and fold their tiny hands together. 

Liam is being the most incredible newborn ever, I think.  And I can’t get over the miracle of being allowed to be his mommy.  Almost every time I kiss him I think back to the time not even a year ago when I agonized over the fact that we might never have another baby.  Now, here he is.  God’s perfect gift to us.  And I cry again.  Only this time it’s in gratefulness.

Adam adores Liam as much David Lee and I do…in four-year-old fashion.  The other day he wanted to hold him.  As soon as I placed Liam in his arms he said, “Mommy, I need my palm.”  My grandma gave him a small calculator and pen set about the time David Lee got his palm and Adam thinks it is the greatest thing.  “This thing is very impor’ant.  You should not mess with it, Mommy.”  So there he sat trying to multi-task like a real man.  Liam squirmed and he said, “What’s the matter, son?”  And when Liam’s tiny fingers got too close to his all important work he said, “No, no buddy, you need to keep your hands out of the way.”

Liam and I went to church yesterday.  He for the first time ever and me for the first time in almost a month.  It is so much fun to feel like a person again.  To be sociable instead of a self-imposed hermit.  Almost every day Adam says, “Good the baby is not in your tummy anymore.”  “Mommy you look so much better.”  “Mommy you sound better, too.”  “Mommy you are still just a little bit fat.” 

I love this mommy life.

These are pacifiers:

I am a soothie:

Probably if I were any cuter, babies wouldn’t like me.  You know, mommies like to buy the cute kinds.  The ones that will make their babies look even more, “aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwweee, just look at how darling he is.  And isn’t that nuk, binky, you name it, sweet?” 

Nope.  They made me functional.  I don’t even come in more then one color so you just have to plan the outfits around me, not “hmm, which nuk matches this outfit?”  But babies like me.  Because, well, I seem to fit just the right way.  I even got some attention today.  Another lady with a one week old at the pediatrician’s office asked Liam’s mommy if they gave me to her at the hospital.  You could tell she was wishing for one just like me.  Liam had to give me up for a minute so she could get a really good look at all the sides of me.  I bet she headed straight for Babies R Us.

Photo credits: C.S.  (thanks, girl)

Yesterday Liam smiled at me when I talked to him and I forgot at least the first twenty contractions. 

After two nights of crying and lying in his carriage for all of twenty minute stretches, he turned into an angel-child.  We were all in bed by 9:00 last night, (unheard of in this house) completely exhausted.  At 12:30 I woke him up to feed him because I didn’t dare risk going longer with his bili levels obviously still elevated.  He ate, burped, and went back to sleep in 40 minutes.  At 4:30 we repeated the routine and he slept again until 6:30.  Maybe, just maybe, that has something to do with a full tummy.  And maybe he’ll stop turning yellow now, too. 

I think God knew I desperately needed the sleep.  When I woke up at 12:30 David Lee informed me he is feeling rotten.  Achey.  Couldn’t sleep.  And about that time he headed to the bathroom and vomited.  I had nightmare visions of all of us getting sick and since David Lee was the first one down, that meant no completely capable adult.  After tossing and turning all night, he headed for the recliner for an hour or two, managed to give Adam cereal and came back to bed where he finally slept.  My morning shuffled between taking care of Adam, Liam and myself and by 10:30 I realized just how quickly I run out of fuel.  I’m trying not to even think about the possibility of getting sick.  Judging by what it feels like to sneeze, throwing up would not have pleasant side effects.  Then again, does it ever?

We survived thanks to David Lee’s mom sending lunch, Lois coming back at 3:30 instead of bedtime, and a very. very. very. good baby.  I want to indulge and hold him all day long.  Nothing quite melts your heart like that new baby smell and six pounds of tiny body snuggled under your chin. 

(“Yup, Christy, I take the soothie and Mommy didn’t even have to work to make me do it.  I figured I better do something you like to make up for not coming when you were here.  They’re kind of cool.  You should have told her about them when Adam was little.”)

Life is much better now.  David Lee is at least awake and Adam is outside giggling hysterically with Lois and running around playing ball and “work job” and in the sandbox instead of being bored out of his mind.  Somehow, if Daddy is in the house, he forgets he’s capable of playing on his own. 

(Daddy, help.  My clothes are just too big.  Where is my hand?”)

Life is amazing.  I can’t believe how much I love being a mommy.  I really mean that (I just didn’t think it for about an hour this morning.)

I’m a big brother now.  Adam was so excited Monday night when I told him he would get to meet his brother on Wednesday.  We had to go through the story so many times…”tonight we will go to bed and sleep, then tomorrow we will go to Emily’s house and sew.  Then we’ll come home for your nap and Mommy will clean up the house and make supper……………….” and so the tale spun.  He was fascinated.  “Mommy will it make a loud pop when the baby comes out of your tummy?”  Come to think of it, I did feel like an overinflated balloon, or maybe even a tractor tire. 

24 hours old….let’s go home, little one.

Adam broke out in a bizarre rash Thursday morning at Mom’s house.  In spite of my fear of strange and dangerous childhood diseases I didn’t have the heart to tell him he couldn’t touch Liam.  His adoration is immeasurable.  “Mommy, I want to hold him.  Mommy, just put him here on the couch with me.  He looks so much like me.  Why does he, mommy?  He just likes to sleep all warm and toasty with me.  Mommy get me a book then I’ll read him a story.  But mommy, I’m not done holding the baby.”

I had to take Liam to see the pediatrician this morning just to make sure he was really ok (part of my side of the agreement to get me out of the hospital in 24 hrs in spite of being strep positive).  I didn’t relish the idea of going to town on day two at all; but I would have ended up going anyway.  Adam was not only rash-coated, his knuckles were getting swollen.  Liam dropped 8 oz; but otherwise is doing fine.  Adam has a serious amoxicillen allergy and won’t be able to take anything in the penicillen family from here on out.  I don’t even want to think about all the ramifications of that right now.  I just keep saying, “thank God it’s not one of those wierd things that causes horrible complications in newborns.”

“Mommy, I can burp him.  Just put the diaper on my neck like you do.  Where does Daddy pat him?”  You’ve just got to love having a four-year-old!

Two days old

I can’t get over the miracle of you

 brother love

                          Great gifts truly do come in small packages

Baby Liam is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “Shout to the North and the South. Sing to the East and the West…”
Uh, oh, I’m on a different computer and can’t figure out how to get the pics in here or change the font (Marvin, sell me on Apple again??) so check out my photo blog. Liam is in the nursery at the moment warming up post-bath. I can’t wait to hold him again. I think David Lee and I will fight for turns until about 10 tonight! So until I figure out how to make the pics do what I want them to, here are the stats:
William Drew born at 2:12 pm 6 lbs 9oz and he’s just perfect. I can’t even describe how happy and comfortable I am .. comfortable of course being a “relative” term.