Chesed

Adam just celebrated his third birthday.  Whenever I thought I’d get to the end of myself last year, people told me to hang on until he’s three.  I thought it was kind of funny.  Like, kids don’t just magically do a turn-around because one day you tell them they are three.  No, they don’t.  But by that time, they are cognizant enough that you can sort of reason them into being good by themselves, I discovered.  And so, turning three is somewhat magical.  Adam loves to go to town.  It was a frustration for a long time when he was younger because of the long drive to town and the fact that I try to go only once a week or two and then get everything at once.  He’d been doing much better.  Now with doing house shopping a lot and having to think and make decisions, I’ve been having a hard time with it.  I mean, how easy is it to decide which bathroom faucet you should choose when you consider the fact that the plumber prefers Moen but the sales rep at Fergusons told you sometimes plumbers just tell you what’s easiest for them to install and then you see a Price Pfisterer faucet on clearance that you really like in the finish you really like and about that time you wake up to the fact that a faucet costs different things depending on what finish you are looking at and then you try to remember how much money you tallied in the budget for plumbing total and how this will make you come out with the rest of it and all the while your son is asking the same question repeatedly b/c you aren’t answering, and then he begs to get out of the cart which you weren’t going to do so that you don’t have to watch him but you’re so busy thinking about faucets for the bathroom that you absentmindedly lift him out and the next thing you know he’s pushing the cart into a display and trying to choose faucets from the lower shelf insisting, “wet’s get dis one, Mommy.”  However, Adam turned three, remember.  So on his birthday we go shopping at Home Depot and he starts whining in the cart.  “Adam,” I said, “what are you doing right now?”  “Fussing,” he whined.  “This is why mommy doesn’t like to take you along to town.  It’s hard for me to shop when you fuss and whine.”  “I’m stopping,” he said quickly and then, in a complete tone of voice change, “NOW I have a good att’tude.”  And would you believe it?  He really did.  After about 45 min of shopping I let him sit on the lawn mowers for awhile.  He was on maybe five minutes and I told him to drive a little more then he would need to get off.  He turned the steering wheel 4 more times and crawled off on his own volition!  I was in utter amazement.  I started praising him for having such a good attitude and told him how much fun it is to have him along when I shop when he is like this.  “I’m big now,” he explained.  “I’m ‘free’ now.”  As though that was all the explanation I needed.  And truth be told, I really didn’t need anything else from him … just some words from someone on what makes three so magical?????

Two months ago I was SURE we could move by the middle of April.  I had dreams of celebrating Adam’s birthday after we moved into our new house.  Somehow we haven’t moved and I’m now beginning to question whether we will even be able to move by the middle of May.  Perhaps we’ll simply keep building for the next two years and never get done, I don’t know.  I must say things like that a lot.  Sunday night after Adam picked up the toys at Grammie’s house, I told him to come so I could put his shoes on.  He looked around and said, “this is just going to take forEVER.”  The good thing is, that we are so much closer than we were two weeks ago.  At least my part of things is.  David Lee is now taking a turn at spinning wheels.  Unfortunately his stuff is the kind that keeps us from getting CO so we can’t move til he’s done with it.  We’ve long ago decided to leave the basement part where my laundry is unfinished for now and work on it after we move in.  Even longer ago we opted not to do the deck right away to save time so there isn’t much we can shave off and say well, let’s just move in for now.  Steve and Christy really gave us a boost last week.  Steve painted and painted and painted … sometimes over 15 hrs in one day.  So while it isn’t finished, it’s much more manageable. 

Today my aunt Frieda is coming to faux paint my bathroom “just like her kitchen.”  I LOVE her kitchen and was way too afraid to attempt it on my own without seeing anyone do it first.  (I’m very much a visual learner.)  So we’re exchanging labor — scrapbooking for painting.  Frankly, I think she’s getting the bad end of the deal since she has to do travel time.  Although mom wants to help her scrapbook tomorrow if she stays another day so maybe she’ll come out ok.  Believe me, I plan to work fast!

Last week really was crazy.  Steve and I painted at the house for about 15 hrs on Monday.  Tuesday Christy and I headed for town b/c Adam had an annual physcial with his pediatrician.  We spent the rest of the day having lunch with Beth to celebrate her birthday early (since Christy was here and we don’t know what will be happening with Beth on her b-day), and doing house shopping -the boring kind like picking out a kitchen sink.  Now really and truly, I know there are many, many choices to make in a house and if we weren’t on a budget at all I could understand picking out my own sink.  But since I had to stick with stainless steel, same size bowls to save money, I had a hard time seeing why we didn’t just tell the plumber to go pick one out.  “There are five brands that are nearly in the same price range in the 16 gauge stainless steel,” the saleslady informed me.  “And,” she continued, “they all look pretty much the same except for subtle variations in the finish.”  Subtle is right.  I didn’t notice it on first glance and didn’t feel like spending more money for a finish on something I would use to swirl dirty dish water around. 

Wednesday and Thursday I painted all day again then Friday Christy and I headed to Stuarts Draft to shoot a wedding I scheduled months ago when I THOUGHT we were moving in March.  In spite of the fact that my brain was spinning in all directions, it was a lot of fun again.  (David Lee and I took a break while building so we haven’t done any for awhile and he has in that interim decided to give up his part of it entirely in lieu of other hobbies that don’t require losing work time).  Arlen and Naomi were a fun couple to photograph … they were so relaxed and had fun with it which made it so easy to get great shots!  Something about being photographer at a wedding gives me a little of the same feeling I used to get working as a nurse.  There are several times in a person’s life that are so monumental, so intimate, so life-changing.  Moment’s like death of a loved one (or very serious illness), like birth, like marriage.  The role of a nurse supporting and facilitating grieving and the role of a photographer capturing the essence of a wedding (and especially intimate shots) both require a certain sixth sense.  People cannot always tell us what they want or what would be important to them.  Yet they wish for us to pick up on those subtle vibes and act on it.  When it goes well, I have felt an amazing bond with people who before were strangers.  Two families in particular branded themselves into my memory during my CCU days.  I’d love to see them again, to give them a hug, to ask them how they are doing now.  And in much the same way, I wonder about the bride we photographed in PA who was a total stranger to me and I haven’t seen since.  I wish I could see her again and ask her how her marriage is growing and about her adjustments in moving to a far away community.  I like these kinds of jobs.  Maybe that’s what people call fulfillment.

PS: quick update on Beth from last week’s u/s from an email she sent out:  I wanted to let you all know the results of Tuesday’s ultrasound were the same as last week’s ultrasound. 

He checked the amount of blood flowing through Hannah’s head artery, and it’s at the minimum for being acceptable.  That seems to be the highest concern.

Something I find interesting is that according to ultrasound, Hannah weighs 12 oz. while Sarah weighs 20 (1 lb., 4 oz.)  On the week-by-week calendar that I have, a fetus should now weigh 12 oz.!  (and 1 lb. 4 oz. in two weeks).  According to their bone structure, though,  Hannah is two weeks behind, and Sarah one week ahead of where they should be.   

(family photo coming later)

I accompanied Beth to her ultrasound appointment yesterday.  Last week, seeing Dr. T and hearing his verdict / prognosis gave us such encouragement.  While the measurements he got weren’t vastly different from Dr. Thompson’s, it was good to hear of other similar cases.  He told us then that TTT-S can stay the same, progress to surgery level, or even, in rare cases, reverse itself.  Beth’s babies were at an “alert watch” state. 

I think I’ll simply copy and paste Beth’s version of the story here.

Monday evening, I realized with a start that I had not definitely felt Hannah since Saturday evening.  I called the doctor on call, which out of five, was Dr. Thompson!  He said they would do no procedures yet that night so to come in Tuesday morning.  I got there as soon as I could manage getting out of bed (still takes a while) for an ultrasound.  He again was concerned for Hannah’s heart.  Her blood sometimes stops flowing between beats.  He worked me in to see the specialist today, Wednesday.  I am twenty-one weeks today.
 
This time, Dr. T. also found Sarah’s pocket of fluid to be 11 cm.  Hannah’s pocket is still 2.3, though, so that keeps us out of the surgery category.  He also found Hannah’s troublesome dopplers (heart patterns).  (That means Dr. Thompson was more accurate all along; I’ll be sure to compliment him.=) ) 
 
Last night, Dr. T. talked to one of (four?) surgeons in the US about when to send patients for surgery.  [Insert: that makes us feel well taken care of.]  The surgeon says they won’t do surgery as long as the smaller baby has a pocket of at least 2 cm.  He further explained it could actually not be TTT-S, but growth retardation in the smaller baby.  The babies would then actually not be sharing blood vessels, but the smaller baby just wouldn’t have enough blood vessels.  This condition is untreatable.  The smaller baby would be abnormal or then would not survive.  He didn’t say he thinks that is the problem, but he was explaining why he’s not sending us for surgery if he sees heart problems.  (BTW, we’d go to Detroit instead of Tampa; he says they’re more personable.)
 
Why is it hard to accept maybe having one or two handicapped children?  Is it pride?  Does it look inconvenient and expensive?  It is hard for me to see things not come to their full potential, but I could learn to see “full potential” in a different way.  Is God wanting to expand my compassion and lessen my perfectionism?  It is hard to think of identical twins being so not identical!  Another thing that makes it look overwhelming, is to not only have three babies, but to have special needs in addition.  How will I spread that thin???
 
Your prayers help.  I feel at peace and supported when I go in for ultrasounds. 
Love, Beth and Kelvin   

When we walked out of the office, I looked at Beth and said, “Now we just keep hoping it’s TTT-S” and then we both sort of looked shocked.  One week ago, no one could have told either of us we would think anything could be less hopeful than to hear the babies have TTT’S (except of course to hear that they had already died). 

Throughout this journey, I continue to be amazed with Beth’s faith and stability.  I keep saying, “she’s an amazing little woman.”  And yes, Jo, I will try to post a picture of Kelvin and Beth soon.  What a great idea.

As for what is going on with our little family, life continues.  Wake up.  Work.  Sleep.  Wake up.  Work.  Sleep.  We are seriously in the “just keep functioning” mode right now and sometimes I’m not sure we’re even doing that very well.  The good news is that we ARE winding down to the finish (or else I don’t think either David Lee or I would be functional anymore).  The EXCELLENT news is that Steve and Christy are coming!  I looked around the other day when I was caulking and realized that I have been prepping and painting since January.  At that rate, it would likely be June before I finish.  We despaired and decided to hire a painter to help us out 3 days or so.  Steve and Christy got wind of it and offered to undercut his price!  So now we get help for an entire week and, knowing Steve, I suspect we’ll be very nearly finished with the entire project by the end of the week.  I can hardly wait.  With all due respect to Steve and his work and support, what I am really most excited about is having Christy here.  For one week, I will not have to drum up babysitters or feel guilty for dropping Adam off hither and yon for the better part of the week.  I can go out to the house early in the morning and she will be here to take care of Adam when he wakes up.  The laundry will get done instead of piling up until I can be home for a few hours.  We will eat food instead of grabbing a bite in the same three drivethroughs again.  And best of all, I have someone here to help me obsess over every little detail from cabinet hardware, to the right color for our master bedroom (which is very wrong right now).  I can’t wait to cuddle Zachary and listen to him giggle.  Now if we could just figure out a way to get David Lee’s part of things sped up, maybe we COULD move by the first of May. 

Birthdays are something I love, especially when they’re mine.  It doesn’t make me giddy like it did when I was eight, but I still love going to bed at night and knowing that tomorrow is my birthday!  Birthdays were a big deal in small ways when I was growing up.  It meant getting to sit in the front seat out of turn, choosing the menu for supper and using the good dishes and a special centerpiece, sometimes having friends over, and always carefully chosen gifts from all family members no matter how small. 

Birthdays as an adult are a little different, and yet, so much the same.  It’s still so much fun to be celebrated as a person and to be reminded of how loved we really are.  Usually I declare a strike, or at least a partial strike on my birthday.  I want at least one day a year to do only fun things with no guilt.  This year was an exception.  I had been off doing new house things all week and dirt and mess and clutter screamed at me from every horizontal surface in the house.  I knew sitting down and reading a magazine wasn’t going to be any fun.  I decided to clean the house and do the laundry a day early then take a day off Friday to do something for myself (IF I could keep myself away from the house with David Lee working there, too).  It was the best decision I’ve made all month.

My sister, Beth, who is expecting twins, had her 24 week diagnostic ultrasound bumped up to 19 weeks because they were planning to go to FL for several weeks (work-related).  It just so happened that the ultrasound got scheduled on my birthday and, in true family form, she promised to call me first with news of the babies gender.  By 1:00 I had that same feeling in my stomach I used to get when we were first dating and I was expecting David Lee to call.  I could hardly wait.  Finally she called.  But it was a rushed phone call with the bare facts.  Identical twins …. girls (OUR DREAM COME TRUE)….something’s wrong … the babies are different measurements…..need to go back as soon as we eat lunch ….. gotta go.  I didn’t realize how serious it was until later that afternoon.  Her babies have been diagnosed with twin twin transfusion syndrome.  Basically what that means is that baby A is acting as a donor baby (they’re calling her Hannah for now) to baby B the recipient baby (whom they’re calling Sarah for now).  Inside the placenta, one of Hannah’s arteries is connected to one of Sarah’s veins which means Hannah accidentally pumps blood to Sarah.  This causes Hannah to become anemic and not have enough blood volume so she shuts down blood supply to her organs, in particular her kidneys.  That means she stops urinating and so there is almost no fluid in her sac.  Meanwhile, Sarah is getting way too much blood which overworks her heart and in an effort to get rid of it, she urinates on high and makes way too much fluid.  If left untreated, Hannah will die of anemia and lack of blood to her organs and Sarah will die of heart failure.  Treatment options are limited both in what they can do and in the success rate.  Most typically, they do amniocentesis to remove fluid from Sarah’s sac to help equalize things and to keep her membranes from rupturing.  Beth will see a specialist Wednesday to determine treatment plan for her and to monitor progress.  She’s at 19 weeks gestation right now which is still way too early for the babies to survive outside the womb.  We’re praying for a miracle and would love for you to support Kelvin and Beth and their babies with prayer as well.  It is so good to remember that God created these babies and He loves them even more than we do.  And while we cry and feel out of control, He is Sovreign. 

It was so good for me to be able to spend the day with Beth on Friday.  We had a beautiful day taking a walk, reading about TTTS, talking, being quiet, scrapbooking, playing with Adam and Lawrence, and just being together.  I know everyone loves their family but this is why I love mine.  Mom and Beth were planning to come over to surprise me Friday morning.  On Thursday I was on the phone with Chris telling her how I know it’s selfish but I just wish Mom would surprise me and come over.  I knew she had a dentist appt and it was unreasonable; but I still wished for it.  She sounded a hair fuzzy; but not enough to make me ply her with questions.  In spite of the fact that we’d just been handed a terrible diagnosis and she’d been up til 3:30 in the morning with Lawrence who had a dreadful virus, Mom still came over to surprise me Friday morning.  I was just getting dressed when I heard David Lee coming up the steps.  Instead Mom appears blowing party streamers with David Lee shooting pictures right behind her!  Beth still wanted so much to come along she called to join the party via the phone right before we left to go to her house!  That night we had a birthday supper at Mom and Dad’s.  David Lee, Adam and I went to Apple Bees the night before and Adam didn’t think I’d really had a birthday because I didn’t get two candles on my cake so Mom put 29 of them on the cake!  Impulsive me blew them all out at one time and forgot to make a wish!  Hopefully that leaves all wishes open-ended to good things, right?  I just wish Christy could have been there with us.

And many thanks to all of you who sent me birthday wishes, especially Chris who started the wave!

Xanga Lock

I have bashed xanga lock; but for now I’m subscribing.  I’m still not convinced this is the “safe” way to go, especially after reading a few things yesterday; but for now I’m hoping it will suffice since I’m not quite ready to give up posting photos as of yet. 

Mental Ramblings

Christy  posted on one of my pet subjects and it really started my brain (which is amazing considering it’s not 10:00 yet).  She talked about hiding our real self and why we do it.  For several years now, ok, ever since I got married and moved here almost five years ago, I’ve been trying to determine several things.  One, how do you find people you “mesh” well with in a new community?  I think I have two, maybe three, people now whom I feel completely safe with and one of them is about 1,000 miles North for now.  The other person moved here two years ago.  My husband and I are not one bit convinced we’re going to live here the rest of our lives and frankly, I am scared to smitherines of moving.  All because I hate thinking of starting over.  I have a number of “social friends” here.  I enjoy talking with all the ladies in general.  Most of the time, I don’t feel like an outcast anymore.  But it took a long time and a lot of hard work to get to this point and I dread the thought of doing it again. 

When I think about why I hide, the main reason that comes to my mind is because of the other person’s response (or to be more specific, their lack of it).  Which leads me to question whether we all want the same response.  My close friends, old and new, listen, empathise, share their own journey as it relates, ask questions that let me talk.  I really like that.  So I assume everyone does.  But do they really?  Most of the time, I hide.  Because every time I let my guards down and say how I feel, I don’t find that.  For example, one day, about a month ago, I was so terribly discouraged about the house b/c we’d just gotten another serious set-back to our moving date.  The next day was our church sewing and I decided tomorrow I am not putting on the happy front I’ve tried hard to maintain for months.  If someone asks, I’m going to say the truth.  I did.  And got the same frustrating pat replies like, “oh at least it will be warm when you move (w/ a smile and a slap on my arm).  Just remember it will all be worth it.”  Not one, “Oh, I remember that feeling” or “That must be so frustrating.”  By the time I got home I was more depressed than ever.  And this was about our house.  Is it any wonder that I don’t share something personal?  But now I’m wondering.  If that’s what I’m getting from people, is that what they WANT in return?  Am I the odd ball culturally (well that’s sort of obvious) and just need to toughen up?  Do some people consider those sorts of statements encouraging and go away feeling revved up to go?  I’m not being cynical.  I’m questioning.  Because I’m beginning to wonder if  I need to change my way of thinking and doing and being for the community I’m in. 

Pneumonia

Adam has been very sick over the weekend and I finally decided to take him to the doctor Monday when his fever continued to stay at 101.3 whenever it wasn’t masked w/ motrin.  He was diagnosed with pneumonia.  Poor kid.  He coughs and coughs and coughs and coughs, sometimes until he throws up.  At least he’s eating and feeling better since he’s on amoxicillen.  Last night when David Lee got home he barreled out the back door like usual and stood on the little stoop.  “Hi,” he yelled.  “Hi,” David Lee said, “are you feeling better?”  “Yes, I am,”  Adam said then thought a little before adding, “I’m SO much better.  I just don’t have ‘monia anymore.”  I knew he was better yesterday morning when he was determined to load the washer by himself.  I was standing there holding the door and he refused to load anything for fear I’d grab a piece as soon as he took his eyes off me.  Finally he said, “You should not hang on the door.  You might ‘scwatch’ it.”  I took the hint and left and he loaded the washer in peace.

Durlin and Emily had a BOY!  He is an absolutely beautiful baby (someday he will be so all-boy he would growl at being called beautiful; but for now I doubt he minds). 

Sometimes I think about the fact that I am supposedly a stay-at-home mom and I laugh.  (and wish).  Right now I think we’d profit from finding a daycare … at least then I wouldn’t be searching for a babysitter several days a week and hoping I don’t max any one person out.  I wondered yesterday what in the world I will do with all my time after we move in.  Like, I will actually have time to do something at home besides laundry and cleaning.  Whoa.  I am really excited about that.  Especially since the last few cleanings have been, wel, let’s just not go there.  And perhaps, that means we will once again discover what a balanced meal consists of.  Hmmm.  That will be a very good thing as well. 

Yesterday I did not leave the premises ONCE.  I absolutely reveled in that thought.  In fact, the only times I went out the door were to make a mad dash to the storage barn where we have to keep our freezer and twice to the clothesline.  Otherwise I was in the house.  All day.  It was delightful! 

We bought a new washer and dryer after weeks and weeks (ok, 2 1/2 maybe) of comparison shopping, bringing home a freebie dryer (my old one burned out) that also didn’t work, checking the buck saver, checking consumer reports again, comparison shopping again and finally getting so fed up with all the laundry piling up (it is really slow to do laundry when you are gone for the good part of the day and you do not have a functional dryer and it turns cold and rainy and you can’t get it line-dryed) that we purchased a new one.  I feel richly spoiled.  Now that the old washer is sitting in the office (taking the place of the old dryer), I smell a horrible smell every time I walk past it.  We bought that set used when we got married and I could never figure out why my laundry didn’t smell fresh.  It frequently had a sour smell inspite of chlorox or ammonia added to the load and even when I hung it out to dry, it often didn’t smell good.  I blamed it on a lot of things … hard water, not enough sun, taking all day to dry … now I think it was the washer b/c this room smells just like that wash only stronger. 

I decided to do something fun yesterday since I was home all day.  Jo came over to have the boy’s pictures taken and we had so much fun hanging out together again.  Socializing is high on my priority “after we move” list.  Here are a few photos.

…I wonder why that’s almost all I talk about.  And then I look at my schedule for a week and realize I’m breathing wood dust and nail putty for four days, paying house bills a few hours another day, shopping for countertops, lighting, flooring and window treatments another one or two days and with the time that’s left I’m at home — washing clothes that are caked with sawdust and mud or cleaning floors that show evidence of another muddy location other than home.  I wonder why.

So since I like to talk about the house, let me just tell you that I am so excited!  If we had some bathroom fixtures I think I’d be tempted to move in.  Well, ok, not quite.  It’s pretty filthy in there.  I have puttied nail holes until my finger was nearly purple, sanded until my arms refused to move, and last night caulked as late as I dared knowing that there was a dryer on the back of David Lee’s truck that we needed to unload and a two year old to get to bed in reasonable time.  After today, I should have TWO rooms ready to paint trim.  I am so excited I am almost jumping up and down.  I can hardly wait to see what the trim looks like with a coat of white dove as opposed to stark white primer.  And every time I go out there, I have to first just walk around and look!  No wonder my husband loves finish carpentry!  Trim is truly a big part of what makes a house beautiful.  My mom is coming to help me paint tomorrow and I am even more excited about that.  I must admit, I am a people person and it gets a little bit lonely being out there day after day by myself. 

Oh yes, one more thing besides house talk (wow!).  Last week Ronnie Miller spoke at our Winter Bible School … highly inspirational and motivating.  Saturday night we had a separate women’s talk / sharetime about becoming a woman of God.  Afterwards Louise and I started talking and I found it highly comforting to hear a middle-aged woman I consider Godly express my thoughts in words.  So many times when a woman talks about submitting to our husbands, especially when they share concrete examples, I find myself shivering inside.  As Louise put it so well, “if there is no friction, does that mean I am in submission or is there a chance I do not know my own heart?” In other words, am I one of those women who stomps all over their husband and has no idea she’s doing it?  Oh yes, I know a little bit about submission … we’ve had a few big issues.  All women seem to have the big issues.  It’s the little issues that women talk about … like your husband calls home and wants you to fax something right away or he needs you to run to town for xyz right now and it’s the baby’s naptime or my husband doesn’t like for me to get involved in this or he doesn’t like when I do that and then they go on to talk about how we need to be sweetly submissive.  That never happens to me.  I simply don’t have this list of things my husband asks me to do that are difficult for me to accept.  My husband always says things like this, “hey I need a fax sent to whereever when you get a minute today” or do you think it would work for you to…  He considers my schedule as important as his and I don’t think he’s ever asked me to “do something now” w/o first finding out what I have going at the moment.  I could list quite a number of other areas (like the way he encourages and supports my dreams and visions, too or the way we have similar tastes and convictions); but I think I’ll stop.  Louise and I discovered we both have flexibe, somewhat laid-back husbands.  They don’t have strong preferences about how things HAVE to be and about what needs to go now.  When I got home and talked to David Lee about it he laughed and said, “So is it an issue of the wife submitting to her husband or is the husband not loving his wife?”  My thoughts precisely.  I know this is probably a heated subject and, as in parenting, I think there is more than one way of “right.”  What is right for you as a couple, may not be right for another couple.  But I’m still curious what other people think.  Louise and I both laughed in agreement at the end of our conversation when I said, “just watch, in two weeks we’re probably going to get this HUGE issue!”  So now, I’m curious.  Are we just a very close match for each other in this area or am I missing something?

 For months, we’ve been dreaming and longing for Valentines Day, promising ourselves that we would take a break just for us.  When we’re in the middle of something so involving, like building a house, it’s hard to let go of the ever-present mental “got to keep things moving” dialogue.  This once we managed to accomplish just that plus not rush ourselves to get ready or leave which made for a fabulous 24 hr rendezvous.  We opted to stay in town since our time was short.  I took Adam to my mom’s house Saturday morning and picked up a few groceries while David Lee plugged in some hours at the house.   At noon, the magic time began.  We did a bit of fun house shopping first … mostly looking at lights to see what we liked … and grabbed wraps for lunch.  After that we browsed the mall, drank Starbucks coffee, and leisurely shopped some more.  We checked in to the new Hilton hotel in town and were quite pleased to find it as lovely as the online pictures.  Around 8 we headed to the downtown mall to check out an Italian restaurant we’ve always wanted to try and found it to be way beyond our expectations.  Lovely golden textured walls, hardwood floors, rich tapestries at the windows, large ficus and palm trees, and fringed lamps created a warm, romantic, and semi-private atmosphere.  I was delighted when the hostess ushered us to a tiny table in the corner, tucked away by the window and half screened by plants.  The table decor was delightfully elegant.  Gold cloth tablecloths topped by a smaller white one.  Real silver, a fresh pink rose, and a tea light candle in a silver cup .. and then came bread that made you want “just one more small piece.”  Our salads were a delightful mix of fresh mozzarella, sliced tomatoes, a bit of lettuce all drizzled with a fantastic basil and olive oil combination.  I had roasted leg of lamb in caramelized onion sauce for the main course … yummy.  Both of us love elegant dining yet every time we exit, we breathe a tiny sigh of relief.  This time we decided it’s time to find an etiquette book at the library and educate ourselves on the “rules” so that we don’t sit there next time worrying about committing some terrible faux pas.  Can anyone tell me, what are the rules for ordering?  When we eat at “normal for us” places (like Ruby Tuesday) the waiter always looks at me first.  I was all prepared to order this time and it discombobulated both of us a bit when our waiter kept looking at David Lee.  Then at the table next to us, we noticed the guy ordered for both himself and his date.  Is this customary at a certain level of dining or only at Italian restaurants?  I can’t remember ever having this happen before although maybe it did and I was too taken up with other things to notice.  I still shiver inside and turn red outside every time I remember what I did at Carmellos a couple of years ago … but that’s another story.

Fortunately, my Cinderella hours had an easier transition back to the real world.  We picked up Adam and Mom fixed a delicious lunch for us after church.  Kelvin and Beth were there, too, and we had a great afternoon laughing and watching the snow blow. 

And now, we’re home.  Back to the real world where my dryer conked out and there are a million nail holes to putty.  But I’m not dreading it.  I feel revived, rejuvenated, refreshed and ready to go …. and dreaming of the next vacation!