![\"black](\"http:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/black-bear-1-of-298.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nAs I got closer, I realized that not only was my mess still on the counter, there were wet clumps of cut grass and bits of watermelon rind there, too. \u00a0Then I noticed the window sill was FILTHY. \u00a0Coffee forgotten and wide awake, I picked up the olive oil bottle. \u00a0Dirty. \u00a0Scratched label.<\/p>\n
I saw the watermelon had rolled forward from where it had been at the back of the counter, thankfully rolling against a random fork as opposed to falling to the floor and splitting. \u00a0When I returned it to a safer spot at the back of the counter I noticed it had claw marks.<\/p>\n Oh, wait. \u00a0The screen was gone. \u00a0And the window had slobber marks on it. I stepped outside to see the screen and saw paw marks that reached above my head next to the window.<\/p>\n Seriously alarmed, I circled the house. \u00a0Sure enough, two windows in the living room had ripped screens from bear claws.<\/p>\n So there I was. \u00a034 weeks pregnant. \u00a0Three kids. And a husband five hours out of town. \u00a0Why do our crazy things always happen on the days when he is so far away? \u00a0He offered to call the DNR and I declined. \u00a0I was going to play my pregnant with three kids card well and I meant business. \u00a0I had absolutely zero interest in walking out the hallway some morning to find a bear in my living room, thank you very much.<\/p>\n The bear had been bothering us some over the past few weeks. \u00a0He bent a two inch metal pole, stripped the metal screws out of the back of the bird house and consumed\u00a0the poor baby bluebirds. \u00a0He knocked the hummingbird feeder down and while I was gone one evening telling tales about him, he walked the entire way around the deck and dumped the planter on the far corner before dragging it out into the yard. \u00a0I was mad at him then, but this was way, way too far. \u00a0If people go to jail for breaking and entering, this bear needed to be shot.<\/p>\n I called the DNR office and first left a message with the “invasive species” department before realizing I really should have transferred myself to the “nuisance animal” department. \ud83d\ude42 \u00a0I called back and got an answer. \u00a0The drama worked. \u00a0She took notes as I was talking, “How far along did you say you are? I’m putting out an emergency call to your area. You should get a call soon.”<\/p>\n I cleaned up the messy kitchen except for all the bear souvenirs and before I’d even finished got the call I was looking for.<\/p>\n “We’re bringing out a trap today and should be there soon after lunch.”<\/p>\n From there, things played out like clockwork. \u00a0Sometimes they set a trap and nothing happens. \u00a0Sometimes they set a trap and get a bear a week later. \u00a0And sometimes they set a trap and get a bear right away. \u00a0I was super impressed with the warden who came out. He was so patient with the boys and showed them exactly how the trap worked. \u00a0The plan was to fill the trap with donuts and molasses and then “process” him if he got caught. \u00a0He’d get pepper sprayed, shot at with rubber pellets, and hopefully figure out that people and houses are not enjoyable. \u00a0He also confirmed that my bear death threats wouldn’t land me in jail because it would be considered protecting my family.<\/p>\n That afternoon my friend, Anita, arrived for five days. \u00a0It was the normal hullabaloo of heading out to baseball only this time we got soaked in the rain. \u00a0She helped me finish putting strawberries in the freezer when we got home and once again we cleaned up the messy kitchen before heading out to the front porch to enjoy our strawberries and ice cream to the sound of the whippoorwill. \u00a0It was 9:45 and our conversation turned to the bear. \u00a0What would we do if we suddenly saw an even blacker shadow emerge from the darkness? I was a bit nervous because the rain would certainly muffle any sound of his shuffling. \u00a0Anita was still damp from the ball game and feeling cold so we opted to head inside. \u00a0(Ok, ok, we were also a little bit nervous.)<\/p>\n I headed\u00a0downstairs to tuck the boys into bed and, as I hugged Liam, noticed a flash of lightning. \u00a0Do you guys want the curtains open so you can watch the lightning? \u00a0Oh, yes, they did. \u00a0I flung the left panel to the side and instantly saw a huge, round shadow lumbering between the clothesline and the house … not fifteen feet from where I stood inside the door. \u00a0“I think I saw the bear,” I said, then immediately crossed it off as fear induced imagination. \u00a0You can see a lot of things when you’re scared. \u00a0Still, I checked the other window just to make sure and watched as that big black shadow lumbered straight up to the trap and walked in front of it. \u00a0The boys yelled upstairs to alert David while I ran to yell through the bathroom door to Anita. \u00a0By the time I got back to the window David had turned on a floodlight to the yard. \u00a0I started to yell, “don’t scare him away,” when Liam said, “The trap door is closed!”<\/p>\n We dashed upstairs and out and instantly heard an angry commotion coming from inside the cage. \u00a0And oh, let the adrenaline rush begin. \u00a0He was thumping angrily inside the cage, shaking it, rattling it, throwing himself against the sides. \u00a0I couldn’t stop smiling. \u00a0Finally, it was HIS turn to get the short end of the stick and I told him so gleefully. \u00a0Going to bed was a different story. \u00a0About the time I thought I could settle down, I’d hear the cage start back up. \u00a0He rattled metal that started to sound like the door and I was petrified he was smart enough to figure out how to open it and get away. \u00a0I mean what bear wouldn’t love that. \u00a0Donuts and molasses and no punishment. \u00a0I kept waiting on him to growl and he never did. \u00a0Did you know black bears don’t growl? \u00a0They snort and clack their teeth and sometimes they whine. We only think they growl because of Disney!<\/p>\n Black bear snarls<\/a><\/p>\n (shhh! Yes, we opened the trap door to get a picture of him! And no, we didn’t stick our fingers in the cage.)<\/p>\n By 7 the next morning the bear was the attention of the neighborhood. \u00a0I called the warden on his personal cell phone and he never even said hello. \u00a0Instead he greeted me with, “Hi Michelle.” \u00a0We weren’t the only ones excited. \u00a0They only catch about three bears per year so it was a big day for everyone! \u00a0He was so generous about letting camp come over to watch and learn. \u00a0Seriously, I was completely amazed! \u00a0I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to hear them say they don’t want to deal with a crowd, it’s not safe, yada yada and I would have totally respected that. \u00a0Instead Rande said sure and spent an enormous amount of time educating us on how bears get habituated, what is “acceptable” bear behavior (in their book, not mine!), and what happens when they cross a line like this one did. \u00a0It was so impressive. \u00a0Kids are always teachable, but at an extraordinary moment like this, they soak in and remember so much! \u00a0One of our campers from the city decided he wants to\u00a0work for the DNR because of the presentation and education!<\/p>\n After he explained everything, the bear got put to sleep while our crowd of nearly sixty headed to the other end of the yard. \u00a0He estimated he might weigh 300 lbs and it’s impossible to know exactly how a bear will metabolize the meds. \u00a0But it’s a given that if he’s worked up from the noise it’s going to be harder to put him to sleep.<\/p>\n Once he was truly sedated, they dragged him out of his cage and let everyone circle up around him. \u00a0We guessed his weight and then a few of the campers got to don gloves and help to weigh and measure him. \u00a0He was HUGE! \u00a0An average neck circumference is 25 inches. \u00a0This guy was 29.5! \u00a0And not only did he reach the estimated 300 lbs, his actual weight was 348!!! \u00a0His paw was 5.5 inches across and he measured about 72 inches long. \u00a0He was truly a big, big very naughty boy.<\/p>\n They medicated his eyes and wrapped them with a cloth since the sedation would keep him from blinking, pulled a tooth to check his age, took a hair sample to document his DNA and then tagged his ear so they’d recognize him if he caused trouble again. \u00a0Because three strikes you’re out. \u00a0I may or may not have silently told Mr. Bear\u00a0he wouldn’t get another chance at our house. \u00a0I was going to learn how to load a gun if I saw him in our yard again. \u00a0If you are a bear, you don’t mess with my kitchen windows or food sources inside the house and you don’t make me nervous about having kids in the yard without repercussion.<\/p>\n And then everyone got in a line and had a quick turn touching him and posing for a picture. \u00a0The bear’s respirations were getting less shallow and it was time to get him back in his cage. \u00a0Which also meant it was time for the crowd to leave because the next part should go like clockwork, but it was unpredictable.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n<\/a><\/p>\n
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