{"id":3795,"date":"2020-10-30T08:54:00","date_gmt":"2020-10-30T12:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/?p=3795"},"modified":"2020-12-20T22:11:45","modified_gmt":"2020-12-21T03:11:45","slug":"our-mouths-with-laughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/our-mouths-with-laughter\/","title":{"rendered":"Our Mouths With Laughter"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” the Lord has done great things for us; we are glad. Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! Psalm 126:2-3,5<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Liam had his scans yesterday. Everyone in the cancer groups talks about the scanxiety. Instead I walked in with supernatural peace and as we neared the hospital doors I felt underlying twinges of joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Expectant hope? I’m not sure how to describe it. It felt as though we were about to reveal what God has done for us and giving thanks for what I sense before tangible results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
{I just love Zara’s drawings! “Why is the girl in yellow crying?” I asked expecting an explanation of grief. “She doesn’t like her dress,” was the quick answer. Story of my life these days with a certain four year old.”}<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I’m suddenly realizing that something has shifted drastically inside of me — it’s been transforming slowly for years, but not until this diagnosis has it become clear. I used to read verses of blessing and not really believe them for me. I tried so hard to believe them with my head, but after growing up in so much trauma and loss, my heart didn’t believe it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was afraid that God was another manipulative, mind game player who lured you in so that he could beat you from behind. I hated that I thought of him like that, but my brain was programmed for years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the first time I’ve processed something as deep loss \/ grief that translated immediately into a faith in a God that wants to bless {his children} me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I wish so much I could see what God sees. Both what He is doing through Liam’s diagnosis, but also on a smaller scale, is He pleased with me?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” the Lord… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p39ynQ-Zd","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3795"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3795\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3800,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3795\/revisions\/3800"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}