{"id":3988,"date":"2020-12-31T23:54:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-01T04:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/?p=3988"},"modified":"2021-01-12T00:04:29","modified_gmt":"2021-01-12T05:04:29","slug":"exhausted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/exhausted\/","title":{"rendered":"Exhausted"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Today is Monday who knows what.  My body and brain feel shell shocked.  Everything feels locked down.  I can&#8217;t really feel anything.  I keep getting frustrated and edgy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-3-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3972\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-3-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-3-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-3-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-3.jpg 1365w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is supposed to be the week of pause.  No appointments.  Staying home and gently recovering from surgery.  David even decided to stay for the entire week.  I imagined this week to be filled with so much laughter and celebration and instead I can&#8217;t even get out of bed until 11 some days.  My body is just completely exhausted. Probably from the last two weeks of not getting great nights of sleep, but it&#8217;s more than that.  It&#8217;s exhaustion from the fear and dread and constant adrenaline rush and trying to remember every detail since July 29th because really it&#8217;s a matter of life and death.  It&#8217;s emotional exhaustion and physical exhaustion and the fact that now that I don&#8217;t have to for several days in a row, my body has forgotten to ask my permission and decided not to function.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" src=\"http:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-5-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3974\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-5-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-5-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-5-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/home-5.jpg 1365w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I realized it was last Christmas that our family stood in front of church and sang, &#8220;Is there room in your heart?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Make Room by Casting Crowns featuring Matt Maher (Lyric Video) | Christian Christmas Music\" width=\"700\" height=\"394\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/iUFSxt7qkNw?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How little we knew.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today is Monday who knows what. My body and brain feel shell shocked. Everything feels locked down. I can&#8217;t really feel anything. I keep getting frustrated and edgy. This is&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p39ynQ-12k","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3988"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3989,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988\/revisions\/3989"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}