{"id":474,"date":"2012-05-08T14:32:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-08T18:32:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/tuesday-may-8-2012-2\/"},"modified":"2012-05-08T14:32:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-08T18:32:00","slug":"tuesday-may-8-2012-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.michellebeachy.com\/blog\/tuesday-may-8-2012-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday May 8, 2012"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/span><\/font>People everywhere say it. “Money can’t buy happiness.”<\/span>

I say, “Yeah, right.”<\/span>

Whenever David or I get the “I wishes” or “oh what ifs” about something, he is always the one yanking us back to reality. I’m pretty sure he thinks he is more of an authority on this than I am. After all, he works for people who are exponentially richer than we are. While we live a comfortable, presumably average American life, he has done work for people who live in 20,000 square foot houses that include things like a bricked garage and remote-controlled fireplace (so you can start the fire to enjoy as you drive in, I guess. I can’t imagine they hang out in their parked cars just to stare at that particular fireplace.). They opt between taking their own private jet from a small airport to a large one or hiring a limo when jetting off to Europe. Heated pools. Enormous spa-like bathrooms. Closets that look more like actual rooms than closets. A sound system for one media room that cost as much as the framing package for our entire house. <\/span>

David insists they are not happier than we are. They worry about safety. They are super careful about who is on their property and even more so about who does work for them. They work hard to maintain the image they’ve created.  I don’t blame them for stressing. And I don’t even want to be that rich. Well, actually, yes I do. I’d go buy a third world country and remodel all the orphanages in the world and hire wonderful nannies and rescue all the girls caught up in sex trafficking and buy my way through all the adoptions tangled in bureaucracy. <\/span>

But I’m not talking about SUPER RICH. I’m just talking about comfortably rich. Like the eat avocados every day, buy new clothes for the boys at Crazy Eight instead of spending all that time searching Goodwill, order pizza in at least occasionally, have no house mortgage kind of rich. And I insist that people in that stage are happier and less stressed than those who are struggling to make ends meet or living in poverty. <\/span>

Case in point, one Saturday I went to Whole Foods to pick up a few items for Liam. Town was absolutely packed with everyone preparing for the Super Bowl. I found my items and wavered between the looooooooooooong express lane and the line up of two customers with full carts in the regular checkout and opted for the latter. Ahead of me was a youngish older couple (meaning late sixties, not eighties). The cashier greeted her pleasantly, bagged her produce, and, as she began scanning the four bottles of wine, reminded her that if she gets six it’s considered a case and she gets a discount. So in spite of the crazy busy lines, the lady goes back to choose two more bottles of wine while the cashier finished scanning everything else and carefully (note: carefully) placing it in bags. When the lady got back she handed them to be scanned but the cashier had already taken care of it and they were ready to pay. The cashier then graciously thanked them for shopping and wished them a nice day. She calmly turned to me, smiled genuinely and repeated all the nice sentiments minus the wine since I didn’t buy any. “Oh, and just so you know, we do have an express lane,” she said, noticing my three items. “The line looks really long, but it does move super fast because it’s one line for several cashiers.” True enough. I hadn’t noticed that. She got a little bag of ice and placed it with the yogurt to keep it cool and I left, not minding the crazy rush at all. <\/span>

I cannot visit Whole Foods without noticing the way shopping carts are loaded with fruits and vegetables, super fresh meat selections, fine cheeses, organic coffee, yogurt without all the added coloring and whole grain pastas. I look at the people who are shopping and, while they run the gamut of nature loving to preppy, their skin looks healthy. Their eyes are vibrant. They look engaged. There is an equal variety of body shapes and sizes, but I don’t recall seeing anyone who is morbidly obese.<\/span>

Unfortunately, I cannot afford to get all my groceries at Whole Foods. And unfortunately, I often choose Walmart because it is the grocer closest to my house. On a super crazy day, it looks more like this. Lines with five loaded carts to wait behind. Stoic cashiers and weary looking customers. Moms snapping at children. Carts piled with five frozen pizzas, two packs of hot pockets, three 12 packs of sodas, four boxes of cereal, two extra large bags of chips, and one bunch of bananas. While people run the gamut from downright slovenly to business dress, the overall feel is different. There are more pimples and fewer smiles. More eyes that look vacant. When it was my turn, I placed my items on the moving belt. The cashier never looked my way or acknowledged my presence in any way. She just kept mechanically grabbing items, scanning the bar code, and putting them in bags. I swiped my card, said, “credit please,” and she finished the transaction as I loaded my bags back into the cart. “Have a nice day,” I said, and finally I heard her voice. “You, too.”<\/span>

I know money isn’t the only factor here … obviously there is a completely different set of job training skills and expectations happening here. Neither am I insinuating that everyone who shops at Walmart is stressed and poor. But how much does money … or the lack of it factor in to someone’s stress level? If it is true that giving little surprise gifts to your spouse for no particular reason builds your marriage, is it then also true that not being able to do that can put a strain on your marriage? What about the couple who takes a weekend away every two months just to spend time together, rejuvenate, talk about current issues in their marriage or family and set goals for the future versus the couple who can’t afford a night out more than once every couple of years? Or on that day when your day goes backward instead of forward … if it is true that you feel a huge sense of relief when your husband offers to pick up chinese takeout, is it not fair to think that someone who can’t do that is going to be that much more exhausted? If it is true that burning a candle on a rainy day helps to lift your spirits, is it not also true that having to leave candle on your list because there wasn’t enough money left that month just negated that?   If it is true that being in a beautiful environment ….. gorgeous architecture, huge trees, manicured landscape, vibrant flowers …. is restful and rejuvenating, is it not true that living in a poverty and trash-ridden area would do the opposite?  <\/span>

There are always exceptions to everything, but on average is it fair to say that people with less money tend to eat fewer healthy foods, have fewer stress-busting resources, and live with a greater level of stress knowing that they are always only a few steps away from desperation?  <\/span>

Why then do we say that money can’t buy happiness?<\/span>

Do you agree or disagree with the statement, “Money can’t buy happiness?”  If you’ve lived with different levels of resources for whatever reason … job change, debt load or debt payoff, emergencies, or economic crisis for whatever reason ….. how do you think money or the lack of it played into your stress level?  <\/span>

Have you ever had to give up something you always thought was “basic need” and now you consider it a “splurge” item?  Did it have a negative effect on you or make you more grateful?<\/span>
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