molar<\/a>.” I literally sat halfway up to stare at the screen. “See this spongy looking cyst on the back of your uterus.” It was sprinkled with black holes. “We need a better look. I’m sending you up to Pantops to get a high definition ultrasound. Oh, and we’ll need to do some bloodwork.” <\/p>\nSuddenly it was all flurry and paperwork. I looked at Liam and knew he would keep cooperating a lot better post lunch so we headed for David’s office. Apparently my brain stayed in the OB office. David’s office is five blocks away, but I was six miles down toward the other end of town before I realized I’d gone the wrong direction. We finally got there and heated up our lunches. <\/p>\n
Liam and I headed out the door hoping to get the ultrasound done before they left for lunch since I was simply being worked in and didn’t have an appointment. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long at all. The tech came in to do the ultrasound and then left to get the doctor. Thirty seconds later Liam starts dancing and says, “Me need doe potty.” I just knew it would happen. Even though I’d just taken him at David’s office. I grabbed my clothes and we dashed down the hallway and I stood him in front of the toilet where he started dancing again, “No, me need doe poo poo.” Better yet, I groaned. But I decided not to complain when I saw that he had one of those near diarrhea allergy things going on and thanked God he actually made it to the toilet in time since I was certainly not prepared for anything else. We hurried back to the room and I got up on the table again.<\/p>\n
The second ultrasound confirmed the first although we won’t know for sure until the pathology results come in the end of next week. And it really doesn’t make a difference regarding surgery, it just entirely changes the follow-up plan.<\/p>\n
That done we drove to the next place to get my bloodwork done. I was out and ready to unbuckle Liam when I reached back in for my lab order. Not there. I called the OB office to see if I had left it there but they were shut down on lunch break and I just got the answering service. She said they’d call back. So I drove back down to David’s office to fill out pre-admission paper work and went to drop it off and pay my ctyology bill from my first appointment. I signed so many papers today, but I never did see the one that says, “I didn’t actually mean to sign up for this.” By the time it was done I called back in and they started looking for the paper. I was pretty sure I was going to have to go back for another when I started going through my papers again and found it on the back of the directions sheet. Ding, ding. David laughed and reminded me about the deposit I was planning to make.<\/p>\n
Back up to the lab and finally, finally I was on my way to pick up Adam. The day was shot and I thought about the sorry little grocery list in my purse that was now going to have to wait until tomorrow. Finally, finally we got home … and I found the deposit still sitting in my purse. Brain, you are welcome to begin functioning again aaaaaaaaanytime.<\/p>\n
Thankfully molar pregnancies — or gestational trophoblastic diseases as my doctor said they are now calling it — are very rare … about 1:1000 births. There are two kinds, complete and partial. Different things happen depending on the kind but in general, cells that would normally become a placenta grow abnormally and rapidly form small tumors that look like grape clusters. Treatment is a D&C (which thankfully in my case was already in the plans so no crazy scheduling there) and then monitoring hormone levels for six months to a year. Sometimes microscopic cells come back invading other organs like cancer and must be treated with chemotherapy. Because of the very close monitoring, it is usually caught very early and almost 100% treatable. The good news is that only 5% of women with a partial mole have cells reappear and 10-20% with a complete mole. So far I’m not too worried. They said it’s a very good sign that my ovaries are still normal size and that it was caught so early. Ok, I lied. (I am a liiittle bit scared.) Mostly we have just been glad one million times over that we actually decided to do a D&E instead of continuing to wait it out. My story could have turned out very differently.<\/p>\n
The bad news is that, either way, we won’t be having a baby again for a very long time. David and I are both bummed about that. There are a lot of things that are really cute about the way Adam and Liam interact even though it wasn’t our choice to have a four year age gap between them. But we really didn’t want that again. Most of the time, you can’t even read the same story to them. One child wants to roller blade, the other has just learned how to ride a tricycle. And I know that large families have that discrepancy anyway, but they also have the fun of having sibling groups to play with, not one here and one over there. <\/p>\n
We both adore babies, but we’re both looking forward even more to the time when our children are past that whole diapers and car seats and pack and play and high chair stage. The boys are more fun every year and we were both excited about some day soon kind of moving along to that next fun stage of going to museums and big camping trips and all that stuff that’s so much more work with a baby. You know, the playing softball in the back yard stage. Plus, neither one of us is getting younger. David looked at me and said, “We’re going to end up in our sixties by the time our kids are like, twenty-three.” <\/p>\n
But it’s like my friend said today when I called her and just spilled it all out, “You know, when we get hit with babies so close together we always say, God is ultimately in control of our family, and we’ve just got to believe that this is what is right for you guys.” And it is so true. David and I talked about how different this year will be with my not pregnant and actually human and functional. I think there’s probably a reason; I just don’t know what it is. Whatever happens, I don’t want this to feel like a wasted year. <\/p>\n
And frankly, I am still hoping hope against hope that pathology will call and say, “all clear.” Hey, we can always hope.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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