These are the Days of Survival
If you ask me how I’m doing and I say, “fine,” there’s an 85% chance I’m lying. 10% of the time, you won’t even have to ask. The other 5% may be a 2-3 on a pain scale of 1-10 which is pretty close to fine if you ask me. These are the days of miserable third trimester upper back pain coupled with Braxton Hicks reminiscent of my last six weeks during my other pregnancies. It hurts to move. It hurts to sit. And unlike the other two times, it hurts to lie down. The only thing that helps is walking and hydrotherapy (otherwise known as soaking in a hot tub for a very long time). The unfortunate thing is that it is cold and I can no longer close any of my coats and we sold the treadmill before moving.
It’s called Survival …whether you’re of the fittest or not. I’m not.
It’s called wishing pregnant women were allowed a fentanyl patch.
These are the days of toggling between stiff with pain and writhing.
But, these are also the days of feeling the curiosity of baby hiccups, gentle kicks, and tsunami waves across my abdomen proving the life of a baby who probably weighs almost two and a half pounds by now.
These are the days of not coping with things that shouldn’t be so overwhelming. Of fighting feelings of incompetence and inadequacy on almost every count. Of crying and crying because I can’t stop. Of feeling like a complete failure because while I’d like to have the eyes and heart of Mother Teresa, I can’t even eat lunch at church after putting down a fecal-matter splattered ring at church for the second time (no, there is no such a thing as separate restrooms for men and women there).
These are also the days of prayers rebuking satan’s power by a husband who willingly goes to war for me when I can’t fight anymore on my own. Days with words of life.
Days with finding these words of inspiration from a friend on facebook (thanks, Mary June).
Beth Clark, Kisses from Katie
Here’s a hug… if it doesn’t hurt to much! 🙂 Will pray for you!
Hugs are always in style …whether or not they hurt. 🙂
I am right there with you! I think we are due about exactly the same time. Some days I wonder if I will make it one-more-day! Somehow I usually do. Found out yesterday I have an umbilical hernia. It doesn’t stick out but oh the pain! It usually affects me in the evening from suppertime on. Here’s hoping the next 9 1/2 wks pass quickly for both of us. 🙂
You got it. At least time will fly through the holidays! Hope you sleep well tonight.
Oh Michelle, I am so sorry that it hurts so much! at least 2 of my pregnancies were pretty painful, though probably not to that extent. I hope the next couple months go by very, very quickly some way or another… and may the discomfort lessen a whole lot!
Thanks. I think it helps that I know by now this is part and package of me being pregnant. I just wish they could figure out what causes that fireball under my shoulder blade. Or something that would help.
Your descriptions brought back some unpleasant memories for me, as well as some tender ones. However, there is ONE phrase that completely captured my attention: “HER confining house.” Was that written hopefully, knowledgeably, or wistfully?! 😉
It was written tentatively. They’ve looked twice and both times he said he thinks it’s a girl. But girls are less obvious and boys and she wouldn’t give us a 200% clear view so we’re thinking girl but holding it pretty loosely. 🙂
Oh, Michelle….I will hope with you that he is right. I still (5+ years later!) look at my girl & pinch myself because I can’t believe that I have a daughter. I love my boys, but there’s a special connection with my little girl!
I caught that HER too. 🙂
I understand your pain. It makes the last trimester go by so slowly. Round ligament pain that feels like surely something is or is about to tear loose. Dr. says walk to control glucose levels. Walking hurts!!!! I thought I would surely die before I got back to the house. [Wishing for a treadmill]
You still fighting nausea? I am very very thankful to have that over with.
Soaking in the tub, oh yes! That is the best pain reliever!!!
Pregnancy is such a physical trial! Not sure if I can blame it on my age or what, but the crying was never worse than it was this last pregnancy. It feels like forever at the time. Hang in there.
Oh, dear, this sounds horribly painful and tough. 🙁 I’m so sorry. And I didn’t read this till now so I didn’t realize you were having such a rough time. Are things any better?
And this:
These are the days of knowing I would lay down my life for my family and unborn child without hesitation and at the same time, feeling the difficulty of doing that very thing slowly on a minute by minute basis.
SO TRUE.